Joke 1
A blonde says to another at the end of a movie:
- Wake up, you have fallen asleep (actual translation: “sleep has called you”).
And the other one says:
- Ok, tell him that I'll call him back later.
Joke 2
Why can’t blondes write number 33?
Because they can’t decide which number 3 they should put first.
Joke 3
There were two sisters, and one asks the other:
- Is dad home?
And the other sister replies looking at her strangely.
- Hello! Dad is a person!!!
Joke 4
What is a blonde waiting for outside a pizzeria at 2:30 in the morning?
Shes waiting until time goes 3:00…
Because at 3 she gets 1 pizza for free.
Joke 5
A smart blonde, a brunette and Santa Claus see a coin in the street. Who will get it?
A) The smart blonde?
B) the brunette?
C) Santa Claus?
Correct answer: the brunette.
Conclusion: there is no such thing as a smart blonde nor Santa Claus!
Joke 6
Taxi Driver: Where do you live?
Blonde: At my house.
Joke 7
There were two blondes... one was sitting on a bomb and she turned to the other and said it’s atomic.
- Can I sit on it too?
- No, of course, it's atomic!.
Joke 8
Two blondes were having a conversation:
- You wouldn’t believe what happened to me! I was in an elevator, the power went out, and I was stuck in it for 2 hours!
- Oh, that’s nothing compared to what happened to me. I was at the supermarket and when I was walking on the escalator steps, the power went out and I was stuck on them for 4 full hours!
Joke 9
Two blondes were talking in the living room:
- I started that new diet you wrote down, but I gained weight…
- Where did you find it?
- On the refrigerator door.
- That was the shopping list!
Joke 10
Once there were two blondes who were wondering where does the light goes when you turn it off, and were determined to find out.
One says:
One says:
- Well, listen, I'm going to my house and if I find it I'll call you.
- Ok, I’m leaving too, see you.
- Bye.
After a while the phone rings and the blond says:
- I found where its hiding!
- Where, where???
- Here’s what you do. Close all the lights and slowly open the refrigerator door...
Joke 11
A blonde says to another:
- Can you see this forest opposite to us?
And the other one says:
- No there are some trees in front of me and they are very annoying!
Joke 12
How can four blondes sit on a single chair?
They turn the chair upside down!!!
Joke 13
One morning a blond man says to his blonde wife:
- Woman, we need to save more money! You must learn how to cook, in order to fire the cook.
And the blonde replies:
- I agree! And you must learn how to f@@k, in order to fire the gardener!
Joke 14
Why do blondes have empty bottles in their fridge?
For those who do not drink!!!
Joke 15
What does a blonde say when she learns that she is pregnant?
- Are you sure it's mine?
Joke 16
A blonde and a brunette are falling from a skyscraper. Which one of them will fall first on the ground??
The brunette… Because the blonde will lose her way!
Joke 17
A blonde woman walks into a shop that sells flags:
- I would like a Greek flag. What are my color choices?
- Blue and white of course.
- Well, I would like to have the blue one.
Joke 18
A police officer stops a blonde in a deserted street and says:
- Ma'am, is there any particular reason why you zig - zag in the middle of the road?
And the blonde replies:
- Mr. officer, I’m very glad I found you! I almost suffered an accident. I looked before me and I saw a tree. I turned left to avoid it and, suddenly, another tree was there. I turned right and more trees in front of me!
The policeman took a look inside the car window and said:
- Well, ma'am, it’s only your car air freshener.
Joke 19
A traffic policeman stops a blonde driver.
- Can I have your driving license please.
- What is that? She asks him.
- Can I have your registration please.
- What is that? She asks again.
- Can I have your insurance please.
- What is that? She asks again.
- You don’t know what that is too? Do you know what this is? He says frustrated and shows her his pe@ns.
- Oh no! Am I going to have a breathalyser test again?!!!
Joke 20
Why does a Blonde change her baby's diaper every month?
Because the package wrote weight up to 8 pounds!
Joke 21
Why doesn’t a young blonde go to maternity?
She’s afraid not to get pregnant!
Joke 22
Do you know what a blonde girl says, when you tell her, that she has a vacuum in her head?
- Better than nothing.
Joke 23
Do you know why a blonde girl can’t write number 11?
Because she doesn’t know which 1 should go first.
Joke 24
Do you know how you entertain a blonde girl for a whole day?
You put her in front of a mirror and tell her to play “rock, scissors, paper” until she wins.
Joke 25
What a blonde girl says when you ask her, why she didn’t replace the water in aquarium with fish?
- ?????????
- They haven´t drunk it yet.
Joke 26
What does a blonde girl do, if she wants strawberry jam?
She peels a stuffed cake.,
Joke 27
How to call a blonde girl between two brunettes?
Mental block.
Joke 28
What’s the difference between a blonde girl and a computer?
You must enter information to the computer only once.
Joke 29
A blonde girl drives a car and suddenly crashes into a tree. She quickly gets out of the car, hugs the tree and says: “Tree, tree, I’m sorry, but I was honking.
Joke 30
A blonde girl comes to a gallery and asks, who painted that terrible painting...The employee says: - “Mrs. that’s a mirror!”
Joke 31
Blondes don’t have just one brain cell. They have 3 brain cells.
First one for men, second one for period and that third switches those two.
