Joke 1
A deaf man trying to act smart, says to a blonde :
- How much is 1+2?
The blonde answers:
- 4!
And the deaf says
- Kiss me while I’m free! (The actual translation is “eat it while it’s cold“ but we actually need something that rhymes).
What does the swordfish and the canary have in common?
They are both yellow, except from the swordfish!
Two croissants are playing poker. Which one will win?
The croissant Me-renda! (Merenda is greek for Nutella chocolate,Me means with a/an, renda means lucky streak)
What is the name of Bob the Builder left without a job? - Bob!
What is the name of Bob the Builder that became a priest? Bob the Pastor!
What is the name of Bob the Builder in an animal version? - Bob the Beaver!
What is the name of Bob the Builder who smokes pot? Bob Potter!
What is the name of Bob the Builder who smokes a lot of pot? Bob Marley!
What is the name of Bob the Builder who’s a cleansing item? SpongeBob!
Once there was a chinese man…and now look how many they’ve become!
Number 2 meets number 9 and says:
- Hello 7!
- But… I’m number 9…
- Oh sorry, I was abstracted!
This guy goes out on a date with a girl! Everything was okay, but her breath smelled too bad! The man unable to hold himself anymore, asks the lady:
- Do you have any bad teeth?
She answers:
- No, just a bridge.
Then he says:
- Has anyone taken a s#!t under that bridge?
A guy goes to the bank. He holds in his hands a Lagana, some shrimp, olives, an octopus etc. As soon as he enters he shouts:
- This is a FASTING!
There were two flies on a pile of crap, and suddenly one fly farted. And then, the other one says:
- Hey! We’re eating!
What did the toothpick say to the match?
- Move big head.
What does an elephant make that the other animals don’t?
Little elephants!
It was once two and ...
... then it went two and a half.
Someone goes to the doctor and says:
- Doctor, what should I do with my excess weight? I've tried everything…
And the doctor answers:
- Stop trying everything! ...
